10:41 pm
Watched confessions of a shopaholic. Was better than I thought. Had read the book and LOVED it. Of course the movie was different. But while watching it, it made me want to write screenplays. Or at least write romantic comedies again. Like it was calling out to me - write. Write. I think as I close the doors on web design and “making” money (and all the pressures associated with that), I’m starting to open up to NEW possibilities (or I should say OLD renewed possibilities). I’m starting to feel renewed hope and optimism. I am starting to see where writing can take me (even if it never gets published). It’s starting to feel REAL again. Something it hasn’t felt in a long long time. And it’s making me want to put it out there again, take risks, take changes, DO something meaningful with my life. And maybe for me, meaningful isn’t the typical 9 to 5. I keep thinking that maybe it is - like I should force myself to conform, to fit in, to be like everyone else - but really is that what’s best for me? Is that what’s best for everyone?
So I’m excited again. For the first time in a very long time I’m actually excited!! And it feels good.
days
Posted in on 3:27 PM by Laura Kinker
Days just slip and slide into each other like nothing at all matters. It’s quite disturbing how this happens. It makes me wonder.
getting excited again
Posted in on 7:11 PM by Laura Kinker
Am back from panera and borders. Went around 3:30 because I was starving and had a 40% off coupon for borders. Ended up in the writers reference section for like an hour - no joke - looking at every single writing book available and all the word books (like how to expand your vocabulary). I wanted to buy them all. But did end up buying a book on writing (kind of like an index book) and then one on creativity coaching that I found while browsing the self-help aisle. Then one on putting together your list of things to do before you die. I can really see how they all tie in together. I feel like I have a little baby sprout of an idea that wants to burst forward - that incorporates writing and creativity and coaching and even photography - but it’s still just out of my reach. Maybe it’s creativity coaching - and incorporating helping people to break out of their box through creativity - and pushing me way outside of my box. I am also in search of clarity and fous which I think is why I resonated with the things to do before you die book. Like I need some goals. And I need to think it through. I need to be PURPOSEFUL. And I need to break beyond my own boundaries - to really push myself creatively. Whatever that means. And it doesn’t even matter what it ends up being as long as I do it. It really is more about the process. So am very excited about it. Feel like I’m FINALLY moving forward again AND am excited about it (which is a HUGE deal).
survey o'fun
Posted in on 5:13 PM by Laura Kinker
Found this survey on my girlfriend's blog and wanted to answer them, too. I'm such a sucker for surveys.
1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
I started a photography business (if you can call it that) and started selling my photos are various art/street fests around Chicago.
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I don't think I made any NY resolutions last year. It was more about being done with 2007. And this year it's more about letting go of the stuff I don't want to bring into 2009 (old attitudes, old clutter, etc).
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
OMG - where do I start? It seems like everyone we know has given birth in the past two years. There were at least three babies last year if not more. And about 10 the previous year (no joke).
4. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Clarity and a booming business
5. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June 14 & 15 because that was the date of my first art show. I was lucky that it was right here in Andersonville and I could sneak home for a much-needed break.
6. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Starting my photography business
7. What was your biggest failure in 2008?
Letting the Fantastic Girls Club take a back seat to the photography (although I don't really see it as a failure since I didn't give it much energy this year)
8. Where did most of your money go?
To pay rent and bills
9. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder? much happier
b) Thinner or fatter? a little fatter
c) Richer or poorer? richer
10. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Enjoyed my free time (instead of feeling guilty about it) and saw friends more
11. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Agonizing over what to do with my life
12. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yep. I fall in love with Kurt over and over again (usually after we fight and I'm convinced we should break up).
13. What was your favorite TV program?
Project Runway
14. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don't hate anyone.
15. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 38 and went out to dinner with Kurt to some cute little French bistro down our street.
16. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Having published my book or similar
17. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
very very casual
18. What kept you sane?
photography
19. What political issue stirred you the most?
I try to stay out of politics as much as possible. Am sad to admit that I'm hopelessly out of touch with what's going on.
20. Who was the best new person you met?
It would have to be my cousin marie's boyfriend john who used to write for the chicago reader.
21. Tell us what valuable life lessons you learned in 2008.
That things do get better and that it's ok to start at the beginning.
1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
I started a photography business (if you can call it that) and started selling my photos are various art/street fests around Chicago.
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I don't think I made any NY resolutions last year. It was more about being done with 2007. And this year it's more about letting go of the stuff I don't want to bring into 2009 (old attitudes, old clutter, etc).
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
OMG - where do I start? It seems like everyone we know has given birth in the past two years. There were at least three babies last year if not more. And about 10 the previous year (no joke).
4. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Clarity and a booming business
5. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June 14 & 15 because that was the date of my first art show. I was lucky that it was right here in Andersonville and I could sneak home for a much-needed break.
6. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Starting my photography business
7. What was your biggest failure in 2008?
Letting the Fantastic Girls Club take a back seat to the photography (although I don't really see it as a failure since I didn't give it much energy this year)
8. Where did most of your money go?
To pay rent and bills
9. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder? much happier
b) Thinner or fatter? a little fatter
c) Richer or poorer? richer
10. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Enjoyed my free time (instead of feeling guilty about it) and saw friends more
11. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Agonizing over what to do with my life
12. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yep. I fall in love with Kurt over and over again (usually after we fight and I'm convinced we should break up).
13. What was your favorite TV program?
Project Runway
14. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don't hate anyone.
15. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 38 and went out to dinner with Kurt to some cute little French bistro down our street.
16. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Having published my book or similar
17. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
very very casual
18. What kept you sane?
photography
19. What political issue stirred you the most?
I try to stay out of politics as much as possible. Am sad to admit that I'm hopelessly out of touch with what's going on.
20. Who was the best new person you met?
It would have to be my cousin marie's boyfriend john who used to write for the chicago reader.
21. Tell us what valuable life lessons you learned in 2008.
That things do get better and that it's ok to start at the beginning.
schedules
Posted in on 10:52 AM by Laura Kinker
making a schedule then totally disregarding it feels surprisingly refreshing.
money and choice
Posted in on 12:29 PM by Laura Kinker
i recently discovered an interesting phenomena: that more money isn't necessarily better. sure, you probably already knew this or knew it on some level, as well as i might have known, but it just recently hit me when i was trying to decide whether or not to take on one more project.
for the past six months or so i've been juggling three careers: photography, life coaching and web design. all are essentially new endeavors. even though i've been doing web design on and off for over 10 years, i need to significantly upgrade my skills (which i've been doing all summer) to catch back up to speed with the way things are. and for some reason i thought it was perfectly normal to be juggling three careers even though i felt positively overwhelmed (most of the time) and pretty much unfocused.
well, i've decided to make some changes.
it's so interesting to me how money sometimes (or maybe most of the time) drives decisions. i know this happens to me a lot. i've been in the process of making some career changes over the past year (or more) and it's funny how i keep flipping back and forth from what i WANT to be doing to what i think i SHOULD be doing. i am in the fortunate position right now to really be able to do what i want, without money considerations, due to my husband being able to 100% support us financially. (and he also 100% supports me in all the other ways as well.) but that little part of me, the one with the mother that always said "don't be dependent on your husband," keeps me coming back to BUT I NEED TO BE MAKING MONEY! and now with the current status of the economy, that voice has gotten even louder.
and the funny thing is that the money keeps coming to me (in a way), taunting me, saying DO THIS and DO THAT. it's not like i'm even going out looking for it (except maybe thinking about it in my mind) but then, there it is, finding me and calling me to make some tough decisions.
about a month ago i started contemplating getting a job and BAM - someone emailed me (out of the blue) wanting me to interview for a position at a very cool content-driven marketing company. i interviewed and they loved me (they told me this) but my heart wasn't in it. did i really want to pile this on top of my three careers and try to do it all? or sacrifice what i'm doing in order to make money? believe me, it was a tough decision. and i decided that i don't want a job at this time. (side note - i am happy that i went through this process because it really helped to quiet the voice that kept saying "maybe you should get a job." i'm happy that i was able to shut it off, at least for now.)
then just last week i had someone contact me for web design work. it's so interesting how life works. earlier in the year (sometime in the spring) i had decided that, yes, i was going to start doing web design work again for others (and for money). ever since i started coaching and networking with other coaches, i had been approached to do their websites, since most of them were just starting their practices, but i always shied away from it because i was focusing on coaching. well, once i decided to open that door, i swear to you the very next day i had a web client. and i've had a few over the summer and now this new one knocking on my door while at the same time i'm facing down do i do something for the money or focus instead on what i want to do. it's a really difficult decision.
but then something clicked in my brain - do i want to have money or do i want to be happy?
before this, i was thinking that having money would make me happy (as i'm sure a lot of us assume). but as i started looking at taking on a new web client, one who would totally stretch my technical skills when i'm still getting a handle on the more simple web design elements (which, believe me, are not "simple" at all), i felt totally overwhelmed. although i'm sure the money would be good, i also knew i would be under tremendous pressure to learn a bunch of new technology in a very short (and probably unrealistic) amount of time and would be completely overwhelmed and frustrated. is that really how to live my life? is that really going to make me happy?
it's one thing to take on projects when you feel prepared and want to do them, but it's another when you feel like you need to be doing it because it's here staring you in the face and you'd feel like a fool turning it down.
for the past six months or so i've been juggling three careers: photography, life coaching and web design. all are essentially new endeavors. even though i've been doing web design on and off for over 10 years, i need to significantly upgrade my skills (which i've been doing all summer) to catch back up to speed with the way things are. and for some reason i thought it was perfectly normal to be juggling three careers even though i felt positively overwhelmed (most of the time) and pretty much unfocused.
well, i've decided to make some changes.
it's so interesting to me how money sometimes (or maybe most of the time) drives decisions. i know this happens to me a lot. i've been in the process of making some career changes over the past year (or more) and it's funny how i keep flipping back and forth from what i WANT to be doing to what i think i SHOULD be doing. i am in the fortunate position right now to really be able to do what i want, without money considerations, due to my husband being able to 100% support us financially. (and he also 100% supports me in all the other ways as well.) but that little part of me, the one with the mother that always said "don't be dependent on your husband," keeps me coming back to BUT I NEED TO BE MAKING MONEY! and now with the current status of the economy, that voice has gotten even louder.
and the funny thing is that the money keeps coming to me (in a way), taunting me, saying DO THIS and DO THAT. it's not like i'm even going out looking for it (except maybe thinking about it in my mind) but then, there it is, finding me and calling me to make some tough decisions.
about a month ago i started contemplating getting a job and BAM - someone emailed me (out of the blue) wanting me to interview for a position at a very cool content-driven marketing company. i interviewed and they loved me (they told me this) but my heart wasn't in it. did i really want to pile this on top of my three careers and try to do it all? or sacrifice what i'm doing in order to make money? believe me, it was a tough decision. and i decided that i don't want a job at this time. (side note - i am happy that i went through this process because it really helped to quiet the voice that kept saying "maybe you should get a job." i'm happy that i was able to shut it off, at least for now.)
then just last week i had someone contact me for web design work. it's so interesting how life works. earlier in the year (sometime in the spring) i had decided that, yes, i was going to start doing web design work again for others (and for money). ever since i started coaching and networking with other coaches, i had been approached to do their websites, since most of them were just starting their practices, but i always shied away from it because i was focusing on coaching. well, once i decided to open that door, i swear to you the very next day i had a web client. and i've had a few over the summer and now this new one knocking on my door while at the same time i'm facing down do i do something for the money or focus instead on what i want to do. it's a really difficult decision.
but then something clicked in my brain - do i want to have money or do i want to be happy?
before this, i was thinking that having money would make me happy (as i'm sure a lot of us assume). but as i started looking at taking on a new web client, one who would totally stretch my technical skills when i'm still getting a handle on the more simple web design elements (which, believe me, are not "simple" at all), i felt totally overwhelmed. although i'm sure the money would be good, i also knew i would be under tremendous pressure to learn a bunch of new technology in a very short (and probably unrealistic) amount of time and would be completely overwhelmed and frustrated. is that really how to live my life? is that really going to make me happy?
it's one thing to take on projects when you feel prepared and want to do them, but it's another when you feel like you need to be doing it because it's here staring you in the face and you'd feel like a fool turning it down.
contentment
Posted in content on 1:58 PM by Laura Kinker
am learning the meaning of the word content. instead of feeling like I need to rush off and be doing a million different things or running errands or simply being outside because it’s beautiful, I’m content to be inside, at my computer getting things done. I’m content. and it feels great. (and getting things done is a bonus, too.)
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