making changes

isn't it interesting that when you want things to change that it's you that has to change? like one wise person said long ago (and many since then) that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results. yet how many of us are guilty of doing that? i know i am.

i've been dealing with plantar fasciitis (a pulled muscle arch) for almost a year now and although have been trying a bunch of different things to try to permanently correct it, like always wearing shoes, getting several cortisone shots (very painful!) and icing it, it will not go away.

well, as a last resort before doing something more drastic like surgery, i've decided to stay 100% off that foot for three full days and see what happens.

as i've been hobbling around my apartment, and resenting feeling stuck inside despite the chilly weather, i'm realizing that i'm having to change my behavior in order to change my condition. go figure. even though i had made small changes before, i wasn't willing to stay off my foot - really the main thing that would help the arch heal. but i really fought that. for a year i fought it. i could not sit still for more than a few hours at a time before i "had" to walk on it. we even bought crutches several months ago but today is the first day i'm making full use of them. i've also been using my office chair on wheels as a make-shift wheel chair. is much easier than the crutches and you can actually carry stuff around, too. and, thank GOD, we have hardwood floors. i've kicked all the rugs to the side.

but it's finally hitting me that i have the control to change my condition by changing my behavior. even though i always knew this (and even coach people on this), it's like a lightening bolt to me today. wow. imaging what i else i could change by changing my behavior. i could finally shed the pounds i've gained by being practically immobile the past year (and also eating like crap). i could put my photography out there (as in print it up, mat it, frame it and actually go to the streets and art fairs to sell it). i can do just about anything. i just have to change the way i'm doing it (if it's something i've already tried doing) or simply start it if it's something new.

it's all very empowering. will be interesting to see where all this leads me.