back on track

well...had an interesting evening after my cooked food indulgence. my stomach rebelled a bit - i won't go into the details - and journaled this morning about the whole experience. (i'm doing morning pages - three handwritten pages each morning - as part of my artist's way class. is a great way to purge your thoughts first thing in the morning. and i don't do them on here since they're supposed to be very private and i prefer handwriting them out.) discovered that i don't want to do 100% raw. at least not right now. i still enjoy cooked foods and don't want to close that door completely at the moment. but i did wake up this morning and noticed how much clearer and smoother my skin looks, particularly my face. the little blemishes that have been hanging around forever are healing and even my little wrinkles seem much less noticable. so i know this raw food eating is doing something i like! and i am feeling better overall - less weighed down. and i do enjoy eating fresh foods. so had my green smoothie this morning and intend to keep eating at least 80% raw foods and see how it goes. i want to be able to go out to dinner occassionaly and not worry so much about what i'm eating. of course staying away from fried foods and even dairy (something i know upsets my system). but other than that, i want to feel "normal" and able to eat what i want when i want it. a small part of me feels like i'm caving to my old ways but another part, a stronger part, feels like i'm really figuring out what works best for me. and maybe someday i'll decide to be 100% raw, or my lifestyle will start to shift that way naturally. i feel like the more i eat raw, the more i'll want to continue eating raw and the more cooked foods will start to become unappealing to me. like last night, i did not want fried or fatty foods. i still wanted something relatively fresh. kurt and i ended up going to ole ole and splitting the most amazing chilean sea bass - very light and fresh but, of course, cooked. and i do not regret it.